I had a recent discussion about this with a friend of mine. We were complaining that our husbands think it is enough just to be around the family. Just because you're in the room doesn't mean your presence is being felt.
For example, Sean got out of bed and moved to the couch in the living room and proceeded to fall asleep. At 9 I told him I was going grocery shopping and had to take Sophia to my parents while I did it. He said "but I came out here to be around you two." I asked if he was going to continue sleeping...the answer was yes. So I said I am not going to play around you just so you can feel like you're being part of the family because that is not being part of the family. I then offered to leave her with him and her coulld drop her off when he had to go to work so he could get some time with Sophia. He said "no."
I think it is hard for men to engage in family situation (at least from the guys I've been around).. They all have this idea that being there is enough and it's not. It is like at the dinner table. Families should talk and converse about their days, or future events of just interesting topics they've heard of. But too many times eyes are glued to TV sets, newspapers, magazine and books or in a mindless eating contest. Why is it so hard to ingage in conversation.
No one remembers "hey remember that time I played while dad slept on the couch." No people remember total engagement, "hey remember that time we went to the zoo and I rode on dad's shoulders and mom and I petted the goats."
Think about it the next time your family is together...are you really "togther" or just around each other?
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